I remember I used to love writing. Stories, fanfics, poetries, and even diaries. I love writing, and enjoyed it. And what I love the most is reading my writings back, and realized that I can do it.
I think that love is still there, somewhere inside my heart. But my decision in life leads me to somewhere far away from this activity. Instead of thinking about ideas for stories, or what to write in my diary, I choose to remember pieces, or to contemplate my plan throughout the day. Instead of spending time in front of Microsoft Word, waiting patiently for some fresh ideas to pour down, I choose to practice, play some refreshing games, meditate, or sleep.
The point is I think there is no use of hanging this activity like this. So with this entry, I announce that I won't write down here anymore. Also saying to myself that I'm currently not writing anything, and focusing on what I have decided.
Later maybe different.
But that's another story.

So,
See ya around.

What a chill sunday today. Gw bangun siang dengan tidak nyaman. Kenapa? Oh, ternyata besok gw konser dan kebetulan gw agak bosen sama rep yang bakal dibawain besok. Not to mention besok ada kelas technique dengan Paganini etude, blocking chords dan alternating fingers scale up and down. PLUS, major pagi seperti biasa dan evaluation class yang mengharuskan gw maen Kembang Api bodoh itu. Intinya... banyak yang musti dilatih!!!

Oh anyway, gw memutuskan untuk menambah istilah baru dalam kata2 sehari2 gw. I can no longer use: song (ato bahasa indonya: lagu) when describing music for instrument. Kenapa? Karena istilah SONG hanya diperuntukkan bagi music yang dinyanyikan oleh manusia (vocal music). Nah, untuk instrument music, we use REPERTOIRE. Yang mana akan gw singkat jadi "rep" dalam sehari2. Setidaknya dengan ini, I won't sound like an idiot in front of other musicians.

And... it's praticing time again.

Hidup gw seminggu ini dipenuhi dengan banyak binatang. Tapi bukan berarti gw lagi pindah rumah ke kebon binatang lho ya...

Pertama-tama, SAPI. Sebuah lagu yang dimaenin temen gw, Beethoven sonata "Pastoral" (opus brapa ya gw lupa?) movement ke 4, which menggambarkan suasana pedesaan memancing imajinasi gw akan SAPI yang sedang merumput. And along with time, dengan ditambahnya figurasi2 rumit di tangan kanan-kiri, ato gonta-ganti rhythm and dinamik, lu bisa membayangkan sapi2 itu tadi nari waltz, balet, ato bahkan terbang. Imajinasi gw sudah bertambah hebat rupanya! :D Bagus2!

Lalu, kawanan ternak lainnya muncul setelah diadakannya audisi untuk pianis buat CARNAVAL OF THE ANIMALS (by Saint Saens). Sesuai dengan judulnya, more animals to come!

Lagu tersebut mengambil tema binatang2. Dari tiap2 bagian, kita bisa membayangkan binatang2 yang jadi tema hanya dengan dengerin lagunya. Dibuka dengan SINGA!!!! Which kaya adegan masuknya Aslan ke Narnia. Lalu, ada AYAM mabok yang jatoh ke jurang, ada KURA-KURA yang jalan lambaaaaaaaaat, trus ada GAJAH nyanyi2, KANGGURU loncat2... trus juga ada yang melambangkan aquarium gitu. Asik sih dengernya. Untuk sejenak, kampus gw jadi pusat studi binatang :P

Ada yang bilang hidup itu kaya roller coaster. And I agree sometimes. Tapi gw kadang ngerasa idup gw kya maenan kereta api yang buat anak umur 3 taon, yang cuman jalan lurus, dan cuma belok untuk membentuk rute persegi panjang. Dan itu adalah saat2 yang biasanya ditandai dengan gw keluar masuk kamar, buka-tutup kulkas tanpa ngambil apa2, dan wailing ke orang2 rumah kalo gw bosen.

Ada yang bilang rumput tetangga lebih ijo dibanding rumput sendiri. Well, klo gw menengok kiri-kanan, gw sering merasa hidup orang lain lebih seru dibanding gw. Ada yang udah kerja dengan proyek2 yang bisa bikin dia jalan2 ke negara2 baru, ada yang aktif di kegiatan perkuliahan yang somehow menjadikan dia punya banyak kolega di dunia yang dia kelutin sekarang (jaminan masa depan noh), ada yang berjalan mantap mengejar mimpi dengan langkah yang ga tergoyahkan, ato ada juga yang kerjanya di rumah mulu, tapi tiba2 bisa bikin sesuatu yang membanggakan. That practically makes me live in other people's life during mine!!

Akhir taon lalu gw punya beberapa resolusi untuk membuat hidup gw lebih seru, and along with time gw mempelajari bahwa semangat berapi2 gw biasanya ga bisa tahan lebih dari 1 hari. Jadi justru saat gw merencanakan sesuatu dengan begitu mendetailnya, everything goes on different ways. Bahkan ga jarang malah jadi ga terpenuhi. Harus gw akuin bahwa kebanyakan hal2 yang jadi gw lakukan awalnya lahir dari sebuah ide sesaat yang ditanggepin saat itu juga, dan segala sesuatu yang disusun2 biasanya ga ada yang jadi. So, belajar dari itu, gw ga mau terlalu merancang segalanya secara mendetail. Along with time, segalanya akan terjadi secara natural. And, like someone said to me: Just let the future comes naturally. When the choices come, you just need to choose which suits you.

Jadi, life goes on. Time waits for no one. And prinsip ngelawan boss2 kuat di game RPG, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Who am I? What am I living for? and Who am I going to be? :D

Okeh okeh, gw tidak akan menjawab semua pertanyaan itu disini. Saat ini gw simply mau mencari jawaban: who am I versi seorang anak muda berusia 20 taon (but hey, 20 taon tuh ga muda2 amat yah?). So, here is the rant.

Some things I found from some tests:

"Anxiety and a restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced considerable stress. She reacts by putting this down to a total lack of understanding on the part of others, and by adopting a scornful and defiant attitude."

--- DOOOOOONG!!!! *gasped*

Well well, at least today I do learn something. Mengenal kembali sifat gw yang selama beberapa waktu lalu terlupakan. Mengenal kembali dan menerima kekurangan dan kelebihan gw, dan bukannya menutupi itu :P

Akhir kata, gw meng-quote kata2 cici gw: Aku? Ya ini aku! :D

tahun baru
semangat baru
impian baru


entah apa yang harus gw tulis disini. Biasanya taon baru gw penuh dengan berbagai bentuk tulisan2 realisasi diri. Tapi taon ini kayanya berlalu hampir begitu saja. Move on to he direct action, rather than writing all the time.

A little tired at the moment actually.

He was my teacher. But he was more like a father, a brother and a good friend of mine. He is one of the rare people whom I can talk to about anything freely.

I remember the last time we talked. It was a really warm day, despite the shivering wind and the heavy rain. It was me alone, and I just talked and talked. We chatted about stuff I can't share with anyone else, and we laughed. We swapped stories and made jokes from the facts. It was just the two of us, my first time meditating just with him. Then we ate the bhog together downstairs while talking again. His last smile I saw was the one he gave me when he sent me off to my car. He waved at me and say "have fun ya." And I drove away and departed to my holiday trip.

Until now, I still feel like it was unreal. I didn't even see him off. I can go on with daily life while laughing and smiling, but then when I remember it again, it still feel like a dream. But maybe, it's best for me like this. After all, the last thing he gave me was a very warm smile and bless for my current encounter. And I want to keep that image as my last memory of his.

It was only 2 brief years. Yet it felt like we've been together for so long. Things he had thought me, the comfort he had shared with me, and the wise advices he had given to me are something I will hold on into.

Good bye, Pa Jim. Ima made arigatou gozaimasu.

Dosen piano gw baru aja melangsungkan pernikahan hari minggu kemaren. Ga tanggung2, dia pake ruang konser buat resepsi, ck ck ck, entah gw harus salut atau ketawa. But overall, settingnya quite nice kog, you won't actually realize it's a concert hall kecuali elu memandang ke atas dan menemukan tribun, intead of langit2 yang dipasangin wallpaper gambar awan ato bintang2. Oh, apa mungkin buat ngirit juga kali...

Lalu gw dan teman2 memanfaatkan moment (baju bagus plus setting ruangan yang mirip studio foto) buat bikin photo session sendiri. Dan karena gw ga bawa kamera, terpaksa membajak kamera temen gw, jadinya blum bisa masukin foto2 disini. Karena itu, sebuah kamera adalah wajib hukumnya bagi acara2 kaya ginian. Siapa tau kita bisa foto ala studio dengan gratis :P Dan satu hal lagi, ga usa bawa dompet segede gaban dalem tas pesta, cukup duit secukupnya plus KTP/SIM, makan tempat  >_>

Foto menyusul.

3 kelas lagi sebelum UAS berakhir. Those 3 classes are:

1. Harmony, yang menyenangkan... menyenangkan... Beneran!
   
2. Piano accompanying, yang mana adalah ujian remedial, karena minggu lalu gw gagal karena salah info dengan dodolnya.
3. THE ONE AND ONLY, MUSIC AND SOCIETY. format ujiannya adalah membuat seminar. dan setelah itu gw akan terbebas! TERBEBAS!

Lalu liburan kali ini dimeriahkan dengan 3 project yang adalah: (1) bach French Suite no. 2; (2) Prokofiev Toccata; (3) Offenbach/Mozkowsky Barcarolle. Sisanya adalah menyenangkan diri sendiri, menikmati hidup, dan rehab pundak gw yang sakit lagi. Oh tidak, gw lupa gw juga harus ngulang bahan konser yang lain.

Dan seperti cewe2 pada umumnya, saya ingin belanja beberapa barang :D

Been awhile...

Setelah berjalan kurang-lebih 1 semester, terjadi beberapa perubahan untuk program recital gw bulan April ntar. Setelah melalui beberapa pemikiran dan digodok dengan matang, I decide to go with:

Bach - Well Tempered Clavier Book II no. 22
Beethoven Sonata op. 26
Rachmaninoff prelude op. 23 no. 5
Offenbach/Moskowzky Barcarolle from Hoffmanns
Prokofieff toccata in C Major

Pretty interesting! Especially the toccata and rachmaninoff one, mengingat ini usaha pertama gw untuk maen lagu2 yang membutuhkan sarcasm forte. Looking forward for it.

What if you MUST tell other/someone about how you feel at the moment, about what's in your mind, and the only media you have is just PIANO? What will you do to make the audience understand what you want them to understand? And that drew another question, do you really know what you want the audience to get from your piano playing?

Those are just some random thinking I got on my way back from murli. Which was came after I contemplate about my lecturer's saying.

"When you're facing a song/piece, try to get inspiration from the composer's life, the story of that song/piece or what the composer want about it, and then you make your own story from that inspiration. Don't get stuck in piece itself that it kills your imagination."

And so, here I am, thinking again:

Life is so full of everything, all kind of moods, all kinds of stories. Wouldn't it be very wonderful if I fill my piano playing with all that aspects?

Schimmel emang jago bikin sensasi!!!

From this beautiful pegaso...



And this stunning glass piano



sampe ke upright piano yang sangat imut iniiiiii!!! (apa terlihat seperti toaster? ato bahkan mesin cuci?)

MAJOR
    Bach - Well Tempered Clavier Book II no. 22
    Bach/Rachmaninoff - Suite from Partita in E for violin
    Beethoven Sonata op. 26
    Rachmaninoff prelude op. 23 no. 5
    Offenbach/Moskowzky Barcarolle from Hoffmanns
    Scriabin etude op. 8 no. 2
    Scriabin etude op. 42 no. 7
    Chopin etude op. 25 no. 12

TPC
    Hanon 1-30
    Bach Well Tempered Clavier book I no. 1-12 (preludes only)
    Czerny op. 299 no. 1-15

Piano ensemble
    Schubert Trois March no. 1
    Brahms Hungarian Dance no. 5

Piano accompanying
    Bartok Rumanian Folk Dance

agak... no comment dah...

Am totally in love with this couple!

i never know... that smile could satisfy me this much...

SOPHOMORE RECITAL

Program:

Bach, Well Tempered Clavier book I, prelude and fugue no. XVI
Mozart, Sonata in A Major, K. 331
Schubert, Improptus op. 90 no. 1 and 2
Debussy, Prelude book II no. 7 - La Terasse des Audiences du Clair de Lune

3 May 2007, 1:00 PM
Universitas Pelita Harapan, building B, room 426

^^ here we gooooo!!!